Experiments in process (spring, summer, autumn 2019 )
Willow fedges (Morrill)
Willow portal/altar (Belfast)
Live Drawing Wall with Scarlet Runner Beans (Morrill)
Grasses and Amaranth bed (Morrill)
Weaving Raspberry Stalks (Morrill)
Terminus Sculpture for Magic Cabin Circle (Morrill)
Plant Poster developments for Permaculture Design Certification
June 7, 2019
There is no easy way for me to admit this - my arthritis has returned with force. I don’t have the strength or energy to make work right now. I depleted my reserves too deeply over the last 7 years and I’m back to the earth. Sucking dirt nearly like I used to do in sweat lodge.
I am working with plants in the meantime…hoping they have strength for themselves and me. They can rise in the air, dazzle and sparkle. This spring I have set up many experiments around the land with more to come. I’ll keep experimenting, drawing and dreaming them up. While the plants stand up to wind, sun, rain and drought I will tend them, weave them and rest my body. Hopefully with rest, medicine and more physical therapy, I may return to my love of weaving, working, sculpting. Someday I will unite the loves - plants + woven + weaving + sculpture + figures in the fields and woods.
Taken to the core
And left to wrap myself up again
Where is my blanket
Where do I lay my head and reweave my skin?
It’s been taken again
This past year has been an active stripping of my-self and what I know. I don’t want to give up what I do, nor how I do it. Instead I want to expand my practice. I want to blossom, strengthen and mature further, but that feeling of no confidence is there and it worries me.
When I lived in Santa Fe always I would run into Susan York when in the thick of this state. Susan would ask how I am and I would say something like, in the soup, in the mud, not sure where I am headed or how. Always Susan would respond that that is the best place to be – that really awkward spot where you don’t know. She would say to sit in it, relish it and that these moments will be the ones that will feed me in the future. They will show me the way forward.
So, here I am again. In the mud. Ever so mortal. Thinking about what my body tries to do, what my mind forces it to do, what my heart wants to do and with all my dreams unsaid, or un-sketched, just unformed lingering there, right beyond my reach. I know I am not alone in this mud. There are others who are just as uncertain as I am. And so many people with so much less, with so many more concerns. But this is where I am at and I have to ask myself what will I chose next?
How do I combine what is on the edges of my dreams, thoughts, concerns and fingers – gather them together and usher in a new beginning? Let’s do this, once more, another time - I’ll take the bet.